When Mothers Feel Guilty About Not Breastfeeding

There are instructions that women should follow as soon as they find out they are pregnant. But these instructions include having to make a lot of difficult decisions. There’s so much women need to think about when they become mothers – it’s a new and exciting world. One of the big decisions is whether to breastfeed or not. With that comes a sense of guilt over not breastfeeding.

Each woman has her own reasons for choosing to breastfeed or using breast milk substitute. On the one hand, there are women who advocate breastfeeding, and on the other hand, there are women who either cannot or will not do so.

We are not trying to start a debate on breast milk or substitutes. Instead, the goal of this article is to  talk about when mothers feel guilty about not breastfeeding for some reason. We are talking about mothers who are for breastfeeding but who cannot.

Feeling guilty about not breastfeeding

There are several medical reasons that support the decision not to breastfeed. For example, if a woman has certain diseases, low milk production, mastitis or the like. These reasons lead to important psychological effects due to two conflicting ideas. They are:

• The mother’s natural need to breastfeed her baby.
• When it is not possible to do it naturally.

When this happens in reality, a very frustrating situation arises. There is the baby crying from hunger and the desperate mother trying everything to satiate the baby. Here, breastfeeding does not work, for one reason or another.

Once  a mother told me she was horrified every time she had to breastfeed her son. She produced plenty of milk, but she had injuries that prevented good sucking. The baby had difficulty sucking the milk out and she also had trouble using a breast pump.

Her problems were so bad that at one point she asked herself, “but why should I breastfeed you?”. Her nipples were constantly cracked, bleeding and burning. Even when her sweater touched them, it hurt. Despite these problems, many mothers feel attacked if they do not want to continue. A midwife even said, “If you are already tired of it…”.

When is it time to stop breastfeeding?

Is it really necessary? I do not mean that. The stress and frustrations that  a mother in this situation passes on to her child is worse than depriving it of any benefits that may be provided by breast milk.

In the first months of a child’s life, the meals are time for the child and the mother to bond with each other. It is a moment where the attachment is strengthened, which has emotional benefits for both the child and the mother. But if it causes pain, it can have the opposite effect.

If a mother gets to the point where she decides to stop breastfeeding, the next decision is to choose the best milk available. Breast milk substitute is not dangerous at all and it carries no major risk to the baby. A pediatrician is the best one to advise parents in that situation.

Breastfeeding is an option, not an obligation

It is true that breastfeeding has some benefits over emotional attachment between mother and baby. But research shows that the same attachment can be achieved without breastfeeding.

You know there is something wrong in a society where a woman feels guilty about not breastfeeding. Worse is that it is others who make her feel that way. What they should tell her is, “You are doing fine. The most important thing is that you are happy so that you can pass it on to your child ”.

No one should attack a woman for her decision as long as the child is not harmed. Mothers should support each other regardless of their decision to breastfeed. H ver woman stands in its own, unique situation.

To the women I do not know: You should not be bored choosing to feed your child through a bottle. J oak promise you that your experience of being a mother is not compromised as a result.  It does not make you an inferior mother. You give your child everything he needs and you can give your child all the emotional support he needs when it’s meal time.