What Significance Do Demanding Parents Have For Children?

Demanding parents have only one thing in mind: They want their children to be the best. But what happens if you push your kids too much?

Parents want only the best for their children. But the problem lies ahead if they develop into demanding parents. They cannot understand that their children do not live up to their wishes and demands. However, that may not justify their behavior.

Many demanding parents even had demanding parents. Nothing could be good enough and it was not just about the grades in school. If they went to a sport that they were not so good at, there was always a ” well you could do better”.

Since this is how they themselves have been brought up, demanding parents think that this is the way to treat their children. But this kind of upbringing can have some negative consequences.

Demanding parents are obsessed with perfection

Children of demanding parents always try to live up to their parents’ expectations. When they have a perception that nothing is good enough, they begin to develop guilt. Unfortunately, this means that these children are beginning to demand too much of themselves, which is beyond their abilities and resources. This can cause a lot of stress and anxiety.

According to the ANAR foundation for children and vulnerable young people: ” A certain structure of the personality (demands on oneself, the need for control, the search for perfection…) can lead to some eating disorders such as anorexia or bulimia”.

If the child’s parent tells them, “ that a 10 will be fine in math”  and when they actually get that 10, then they say we knew you could do it. Next time you can go for a 12 ”. It makes the whole thing more complicated for the child.

They will start to get the feeling that their parents will never be completely happy or proud of them. Maybe not right at the beginning, but if the child gets a 10-number, then they will require a 12-number, which will cause the child to collapse.

Parents want their child to do well in school. But it can turn into a vicious circle where parents are never proud of what the child can do. A demanding culture of expectation emerges that can lead to the diseases we mentioned earlier: Anorexia and bulimia. But this is not the only way children can respond to demanding parents.

Parents who are never happy with anything

Children with demanding parents can succumb to the pressure. According to dr. Amy Bobrow, clinical psychologist and professor, should make sure to communicate with your child when you are proud of something it has accomplished. It is important that you get it said. Otherwise it can develop into “why are you always after me, always on the neck of me?”.

There is nothing they can do well enough and the kids start showing other sides of themselves. However, all personalities are different. But besides the diseases we mentioned above, there are some warning signs that may give you a hint that not everything is okay:

• A passive attitude that makes them look like they do not care about anything. They feel sad, without courage and keep their heads low. Inside, they feel like a failure. It can lead to depression.

• They may rebel against their parents to annoy them or start ruining things. They just want some attention.

There are many ways to behave. But the child can not stand it and they are always seeking the recognition of their parents and trying to live up to their demands.

Sooner or later, they will end up feeling depressed or they just do everything their parents do not want them to because they feel so frustrated about it. The problem is that both reactions have unfortunate consequences.

Conclusion

For the most part , it can cause a lot of kids to drop out of school or to stop going to sports that they otherwise like. They just can not handle it anymore. It’s all too much pressure. This is why even if the demanding parents only want the best for their children, it often ends up with the opposite result.