To Love Is Not To Own The Other Person
“Throughout my life, I have understood love as being a form of consensual slavery. It is a lie: only freedom exists when love is present. He who gives himself fully, who feels free, loves his neighbor. And he who loves fully feels free.
For that reason, all of this is equal, despite everything I could live through, do, or discover. In love, no one can crush others. Each of us is responsible for what we feel, and we cannot blame others for it.
I felt hurt when I lost women I loved. Now I am convinced that It is the true experience of freedom: to have the most important thing in the world, without owning it… ”
Eleven minutes – Paulo Coelho
The key to developing as a couple and as a person is to stop trying to own people, as well as to love freely and without unnecessary attachment. If we understand love as an eternal series of confessions, sacrifices, and struggles against oneself to help the relationship, it can be deadly.
Love is not found in the other person, it is inside ourselves
“The great human purpose is to understand true love. Love is not in the other person, it is inside ourselves; it wakes us up. But to be awakened, we need the other person. The universe only makes sense when we have someone to share our feelings with. ”
Eleven minutes – Paulo Coelho
This is exactly where most of us lose our sense of direction. We are looking for someone to compliment our faults and shortcomings without realizing that our only salvation is already within ourselves.
We put the weight of our lives on other people’s shoulders. We make them responsible for our success and our mistakes, and most of our emotions. This leaves us empty inside, without pride or personal satisfaction; at the same time, we are unfortunately destroying every seed of healthy love we could have sown.
And thereby our independence grows, which removes the reliability and emotional identity we should have created within ourselves.
We do not realize that if we remove the patches and patches that cover our wounds, we can create a deep and sincere bond with ourselves and with the person we love.
Let’s stop making excuses! Love and relationships begin, always and without exception, inside ourselves. If we fertilize this piece of land, we will spread that freshness to the rest of the field. And thereby we will see ourselves grow instead of wither away and die.
To withdraw from passion or pursue it blindly?
No one likes to mess around in the order of their lives. There are people whose passion makes them uncomfortable because they are afraid of moving up in their homes and destroying everything they have worked hard to create.
In fact , most people live with broken relationships and bad habits, simply because they are afraid of change. They live by the popular saying, “a known evil is better than an unknown good.” This seems like a dogma, an unbreakable law, a guide for their lives.
However, there are also people who pursue their passion completely without thinking, hoping that their first impulse of lethargy will solve all their problems. These people place all responsibility for their joy (and possible sorrow) on other people. For this reason, they will always be euphoric because something amazing has happened to them, or depressed because something has ruined them.
What is the correct attitude to have? Neither one nor the other in their extreme forms. As long as we act with restraint and responsibility, everything we do will bring joy into our lives. Only in this way can we love completely and freely.
Pictures from AJCass
