The Importance Of Affiliation

We all have a way of relating to someone or something, and this style varies depending on the degree of trust we have in the people we interact with. This style, shape or trend is closely related to tying ties. Today we will discuss the importance of affiliation.

During childhood, we have all had a variety of behaviors that we have learned from. It is mainly what others can expect from us and what we can expect from them. These lessons often have an impact on us. Furthermore, they significantly affect our way of connecting with others.

E.g:

• Do you need the approval of others to know that you have done something good?
• Do you have a desire for love from those you love before you feel secure in a relationship?
• Do you feel left out every time your partner is out with his friends?

• Do you get angry and feel threatened if your partner asks for time for himself?
• Do you think  you are insecure and jealous of your relationship?
• Do you have trouble opening up to new people?
• Do you find it difficult to get out of your routine?

The importance of affiliation lies behind all of these issues. Attachment identifies the way we relate to those we love. Moreover, it is also the way we include someone in our trusting circle of friends.

This is closely related to our tendency to give or accept what others bring us. The same goes for our tendency to suspect or protect ourselves in the social field. Let us explore the importance of attachment in our lives.

Mary Ainsworth: Experiment and the Importance of Affiliation

In 1954, Mary D. Ainsworth made one of the most remarkable experiments in the history of psychology. It was titled Strange Situation Procedure. Furthermore, her purpose of the experiment was to see how babies related to their primary caregiver.

She analyzed the exploratory behavior of the baby in the presence of the caregiver and in the absence of the caregiver. The situation would reflect the bond that previously created the attachment model in babies.

These interactions resulted in the definition of four forms of attachment:

• Secure connection
• Worried attachment
• Elusive attachment
• Disorganized affiliation

The last, disorganized attachment, includes all the abnormal forms of behavior that are difficult to get to fit into the other groups.

Secure connection

Safe attachment is associated with those children who played quietly in an unknown place, both in the presence and absence of their primary caregiver. In addition, they did not show much anxiety when the caregiver left.

Worried attachment

A concerned attachment was identified in children who became extremely anxious when their caregiver, who was in the same room as them, left them there. It was obvious because the kids interrupted their play.

Furthermore , they stopped any exploratory behavior, they protested and kept looking to where their caregiver was before he or she left. This is a dependent affiliation.

Elusive attachment

Unlike the other forms of attachment, the little ones who exhibited evasive attachment did not pay much attention to the presence of their caregiver when he or she was in the room. Furthermore, they showed no reaction when the caregiver returned. In a way, it was as if they did not care about their presence or absence.

How is the importance of attachment reflected in adults?

Those who are lucky enough to create good attachment relationships in their childhood with their reference diva tend to exhibit the same skills in adulthood. That means they have good behavior when it comes to social interaction.

These people do not trust other people the first time they meet them, but they gladly give their trust to the people who deserve it. This fact helps them to enjoy deep relationships, as well as participation.

They are capable of making plans and one can count on them. Moreover, they understand that there are times when the scale of priorities in others varies. They understand that they have to dedicate their attention to other people or activities that have nothing to do with them. They enjoy the contact, but they are not afraid to miss it. 

We can shape our attachment style

The importance of attachment is great in childhood. In addition, as we have seen, it can also be important in adulthood.

However, this does not mean that we will repeat the same way of tying ties over and over again. The lack of good models or not having established relationships based on trust patterns does not mean that we cannot learn them later (and vice versa).

In that regard , we have a new opportunity to shape our attachment style  with any relationship we create or maintain. An hopeful fact when one considers that  attachment is fundamental to our way of loving and feeling loved. 

The importance of attachment begins in childhood. However, there is an opportunity to change our way of connecting with any new relationship we establish with someone.