Mom-shaming: Is A Real Mom A Bad Mom?

Stress, too little time, responsibility, guilt, other people’s opinions… These are some of the reasons why many women consider themselves to be bad mothers. Today, many people know the phenomenon as “mom-shaming.”

The author, Jill Churchill, says, “there is no way to be a perfect mother, but there are a million ways to be a good mother.” But some women still yearn for perfection. Whether it is due to internal or external pressure, the idea is both widespread and wrong.

A study shows that mom-shaming is very real

Unfortunately, the idea of ​​being the perfect mother ends up being passed on to the kids. This serious behavior creates a negative environment that does more for the children’s anxiety than for their development.

In our time of advanced technology, the Internet and social media, it is difficult to escape non-constructive criticism. Unfortunately, it ends up affecting the mothers. In this regard, the University of Michigan investigated the phenomenon. It was about public condemnation, which happens so easily on social media.

The reality that the study reveals is depressing. The result says that two out of three mothers are affected by this criticism. They say they feel embarrassed to read and hear other people’s condemnations.

The truth about condemnations

We see there is an unproductive and heartless truth in this study. For example, more than half of the mothers surveyed say they have heard criticism and useless advice from the immediate family.

The worst thing is that every comment, every condemnation affects the mothers very badly. It makes them feel insecure about their role as a mother. In other words, all criticism (often random and unfounded) makes women feel insecure and ashamed.

Women are constantly trying to find the “right way” to become a parent. People criticize them for the way they raise their children. Others for the food they give their children, or the way they breastfeed the little one.

Basically, people are constantly asking questions about their abilities. It would not be a problem if it was just once in a while. But when it happens every day, it just as slowly eats up a mother’s self-confidence. We have evidence that it affects her role, her relationship with the children, her self-perception and her surroundings.

Mom-shaming does not exist because you are a bad mom

Despite all this, mom-shaming does not exist. It’s not real, because feeling ashamed is not good. It’s just the consequence of bad behavior.

The problem that most mothers have is that they are criticized for practically everything they do. To get a caesarean section instead of a natural birth, for how they handle their emotions, to have a postpartum depression, to work instead of staying home with the children, to show too much (or too little) on their cell phone, to watch too much TV…

As Clint Eastwood said (and excuse the language) “Opinions are like assholes. Everyone has one. ” So it is not easy for mothers to get out of this kind of pressure. In fact, the pressure often comes from people close to them. It just makes it even harder to get out of a bad situation.

Finally, we will grab the writer Jill Churchill again. The most important thing is not to be a perfect mother, but a real mother. Good, affectionate and loving. So if you love your child and give it everything you have, then why should you listen to other people’s opinions? There is no manual for “being the good mother,” but there is love.