Hyper-empathy Syndrome: Too Much Of A Good Thing

It is as if people with hyper-empathy syndrome have long antennae that capture all the emotions that vibrate around them.

But they end up losing themselves to the needs of others and poisoning themselves with too much compassion, feeling guilty about the pain that others are experiencing. It is painful and exhausting.

You may be surprised that this is a syndrome. Are we going too far by branding seemingly “normal” behaviors as pathological?

The answer is no, and there is an explanation for it . If the DSM-V describes hyper-empathy as a hallmark of personality disorders, then there is a good reason.

“To perceive is to suffer.”
–Aristoteles–

Any behavior that makes it harder to relate to other people, causes suffering, and prevents you from living a normal life requires a diagnosis and some form of treatment.

Therefore, people with too much empathy or hyper-empathy , showing a persistent pattern of distress and inability to function in their social, personal, and professional lives, show signs of personality disorder.

Now it is important to clarify that there is a difference between being very sensitive and having hyper-empathy syndrome.

For example, in the interesting book, Women Who Love Psychopaths , psychiatrist Sandra L. Brown talks about how many women not only understand their partner’s psychopathic behavior, they even end up justifying it.

In other words, their excessive empathy completely prevents them from seeing the predator in front of them clearly. In fact, they use incredibly sophisticated and clever ways to justify their partner’s violent actions. This is a clear sign that hyper-empathy syndrome is a disorder that is worth thinking about and talking about.

Empathy and hyper-empathy, the fine line between balance and pathology

If empathy is a positive, useful, and desirable attribute, then you may think there is nothing wrong with having “too much” of it . But like everything in life, profits are never good and it is best to have a healthy balance.

Hyper-empathy affects your ability to differentiate yourself from other people. Empathy puts yourself in the shoes of others. But it is important to note that when you do, you will never stop being yourself.

It is also important to recognize the different types of empathy you may experience that are healthy and can be part of pathology.

• Affective empathy : This has to do with the ability to feel the emotions that another is experiencing and to have compassion for them. You feel what they feel.
• Cognitive empathy: This gives you more complete and accurate knowledge about the content of the other person’s mind. You know and understand what they are feeling.

• Excessive empathy or hyper-empathy : This involves being both a mirror and a sponge. Not only do you feel what the other person is feeling, but you are suffering from it. It is a physical pain that causes anxiety and submits to their needs. You can not see where you end and they begin.

What is it like to have hyper-empathy syndrome?

Below, we describe the characteristics of individuals with hyper-empathy syndrome to help you distinguish between emotional sensitivity and pathological hypersensitivity. Additionally, it will show you how the DSM-V identifies this behavior.

• First, they experience a breakdown of their identity and social skills.

• It is common for them to develop other disorders with coercion and psychosis.
• They tend to have mood swings ranging from deep depression to histrionic, eerie bliss.
• They are patient and dependent. They want to solve everyone’s problems to strengthen the image they want to project to be valuable and necessary. They need constant interaction and validate themselves by doing services. If someone tries to set boundaries for them, they feel hurt and rejected.
• They are also often overprotective and undermine the autonomy of others.
• The excess empathy gives them serious problems being productive in the workplace. They feel that no one understands their altruism, their need to support and help others.
• Last but not least, you often see those who go from excessive empathy to anger. They have suffered so much disappointment that they end up isolating themselves, immersed in anger and despair.

What can you do if you have too much empathy?

At this point, most of you are probably wondering why someone suffers so much from taking on the feelings of others. There has been a lot of progress in the subject in recent years. In fact, researchers are discovering the genetic and neurochemical basis of hyper-empathy.

Researchers learn a lot from so-called empathy spectrum disorders, such as Asperger syndrome, hyper-empathy syndrome and borderline personality disorder. It is an interesting topic that will provide significant answers and better treatment within the next few years.

For now, if you suffer from too much empathy, the answer could not be simpler: seek professional help.

Whether you are at the most pathological extreme of empathy, or you are simply hypersensitive, it is always a good idea to learn techniques that can help you set boundaries, have more control over your own thoughts, take better care of your own needs and more precisely define your own identity and self-esteem.

Do not forget that excessive empathy does not just make you sad. It also sets you apart from the rest of the world.

It is not worth clinging to a world of persistent emptiness and torment. Take the first step.