A Shield Is Broken When You Caress The Soul

A shield is a symbol of having a little too much. It is the protection that people choose to use to stop their deterioration and avoid ending up destroyed. It’s a defense mechanism, their temporary rescue, and their way of telling the world “Enough!”. It is not often that that shield is broken.

Living with a shield is not an easy task, because beneath it hides a fear of being hurt. This is one of the most crippling types of fear that a person can have. Fear makes you create walls, stop feeling and live a stunned life . Life weighs you down and exhausts you to the point where you prefer to protect yourself and stop feeling, as much as possible, instead of experiencing the sting of the wound.

Wear caused by suffering before shield is broken

Life is not a path to guaranteed happiness. Uncertainty, instability and suffering are things you will find along the journey. You will confront them better if you are able to anticipate them and prepare yourself . No one is immune to suffering, but it is important that you learn to cope. Otherwise, the darkness will engulf you.

To live is to face risks, to accept that not everything always happens the way you want. It involves embracing moments of happiness, but also accepting that suffering will ring at your door once in a while and try you out.

It is not an easy task to control the blows and heal one’s wounds . You do not always have the best support system, resources or strategies, and even when you have, you sometimes do not know how to use them. Some people cope better with disappointment and unexpected events. Others let these things affect their mood. And others decide to protect themselves to limit their suffering. The method you choose will somehow affect your daily life.

Nevertheless, no matter how you choose to confront your suffering when it decides to stay by your side, it generates physical and emotional consequences. On the one hand, it traps you in its reluctance, in the absence of absolute motivation and pleasure (anhedonia). If you do not keep an eye on it, it can send you straight down the road towards depression or anxiety. On the other hand, it physically weighs you down. It expels you, eliminates all the energy you have. In fact, at a deeper level, it reduces the release of serotonin and increases the amount of cortisol in your system.

The false protection of a shield

Each and every one of us has our own armor, our own defense mechanism, our own personal shield to protect us from pain. It’s a normal part of life. Somehow you need to protect the most delicate part of your being. You need to make yourself strong against possible threats and setbacks.

The problem occurs when you put this shield on… but do not destroy it later.  For shields do not break by themselves. They get stronger with time. That is, it takes over your life and ends up becoming a very conservative filter through which you observe the world . Raising walls isolates yourself, not only from suffering and insecurity, but also from love and any kind of social experience.

In an attempt to protect yourself, you end up boycotting yourself to the point that you are blocking yourself emotionally. Not to feel, not to like . You are repeating this inadequate strategy because at some point it ensured your survival. You should be careful because you end up paying a very high price to use it . And the price is to be empty inside. It’s the little text on the contract that you do not always read or remember before you start creating barriers.

Do not get caught by your shield

Then again, that void translates into a lack of emotion, an inability to feel alive and to connect with others. Thus, it is not uncommon for you to soon pray for what you feared suffering. Who was it that said that not feeling anything keeps you from feeling bad?

A shield is an unconscious trap that links you to discomfort disguised as feelings of protection and security. That is why it is so important to identify and reflect on the different types of defense mechanisms.

“You need more courage to face suffering than you do for death.”
-Marlene Dietrich-

The art of caressing your soul so that your shield is broken

Often, those who hide behind shields tend to use defensive positions so much that they end up distancing themselves from everyone else . Their fear of being hurt is so strong that even without wanting to, they drive everyone away. Even someone with the simple intention of getting to know them and in some cases loving them. This happens because if you protect yourself so hard, it is usually because you have been a victim of heartache.

To avoid reviving their wounds, they act like wild animals protecting their soil. The other person, any other person, becomes an enemy. Any small contact with the shield of someone trying to protect themselves can lead to grief.

What antidote can reverse this damage? Is there a remedy that can break down the shield in people who have gone through so much suffering? Can we help them destroy this armor? First of all, it is important to point out that shields break slowly, little by little. It is a process that requires a dose of love, understanding, patience, acceptance and of course effort.

A shield does not break by itself – you must act

As you can see, there is no magic solution that solves this. A deep connection with the other person, and of course with yourself, can help . Thus, anyone who interacts with a protected individual should understand that for the most part, it is not them who are talking, it is their fear. It is the big monster that possesses them and makes them believe that not feeling anything is the best way to avoid pain. Understanding their fears will be a very important aspect of the relationship, as well as showing love and giving up demands for improvement . That is, you must learn to caress their soul, touch their sensitivity, and make them feel protected.

“Love does not work in any other way.

It is not in force,

but through caresses,

the armor can be opened. “

-Marwan-

Most of the effort comes from the one who created the shield. It is they who must understand that avoiding suffering in the medium and long term creates more suffering. Despite the fact that life is not always easy , suffering is just another chapter in their history. Thus, they need to get rid of their guilt and the hard, rigid attitude of embracing themselves and taking the first step towards love . Because treating yourself well when you are in pain is the best healing power. It is at that time that the shield is broken.

“Every day people straighten their hair, why not the heart?”
-Chinese proverb-