How To Regain Control As A Parent

Nowadays, parents have a hard time finding good ways to raise their children. It makes them feel lost and apathetic. They feel a need to regain control as a parent. That’s how Jaime Barylko describes it in her book; Fear for Children. 

In fact, according to this author, some parents who are confused about their role and afraid to invade their children’s privacy would like to regain control.

Nowadays, parents are more flexible and open to listening to and understanding their children. While that is primarily positive, this new “parenting style” also comes with several challenges that parents have to deal with.

On the other hand, there are some parents who have delegated their role to other institutions. Due to long working hours that go against normal family life,  many people find it difficult to control their children. But children need a role model. In this article, we will tell you how to regain control as a parent in your home.

The biggest challenge is  regaining control without becoming a tyrant. To overcome this challenge, the following models take into account the various obstacles that modern day parents face.

Three constructive control models for regaining control as a parent

Role model-based authority

Controlling them is essential for children’s education and growth. Moreover, it is basic to be an example for them. There is no need to try to teach them values ​​if you are not an example of them yourself. Therefore, the first thing to keep in mind is that children will tend to behave the way you do.

If you tell a child something, and then do the exact opposite, then the child will only see how you behave and copy this. Therefore, you have a huge responsibility when it comes to raising your children. 

Priorities and value-based authority

Being the authority requires teaching them how important it is to behave properly. Parents need to make sure their children understand how their authority aims to make these values ​​a priority. You only have control over your children when you train them to grow and get better. 

Communication-based authority

You need to pay close attention to what you say to your children. But words are not enough. You also need to pay attention to the tone you use and how you speak to them.

Effective ways to communicate with your children

The way you communicate with your children is one of the fundamental aspects of their education and development, as long as you complement it with your actions.

Here are some examples of how to talk to them. In each of these examples, you will see the  difference between poor and effective communication. The primary difference is, in the latter, that you can regain control as a parent through care instead of coercion.

• “Give me this” against ” Do you want something against handing me that, please?” Then I will be happy! ”
• “I will punish you” versus “Tell me why you did it when you know we do not like it.”

• “Start cleaning your room, otherwise you will have problems” against “The first person to clean his room will get a reward! 1, 2, 3… Start! ”
• “Clean up your room otherwise you will get house arrest” against “Your room is very cluttered. If you clean up in the late afternoon, you’ll have your favorite snack. ”
• “Go to bed” versus “Tell me what you dreamed of yesterday. Let’s see if you can keep dreaming about it. I want to tell you a story that can help you fall asleep. ”
• “You’re annoying me” versus  “Let me take a break and I’ll play with you again.”
• “Those pants are too dirty” versus “It’s such a shame that you make your clothes dirty all the time. We can not go out like this. If you try not to get dirty, you will be able to go home to your friends a little more often. ”

Why it’s good for you to regain control as a parent

The goal is not just to get your kids to obey you. It also makes them understand why they need to behave properly. That way,  you will be able to teach them to establish a connection with the value of good behavior.