3 Forms Of Friendship According To Aristotle

Aristotle always placed special emphasis on the concept of friendship. He refers to it as a valuable thing to be in possession of and as the path to a good life. He also said that there are three different kinds of friendship that you can run into. Only one of them will lead to a true friendship: an amazing, selfless and meaningful bond.

As most people know, Aristotle was something of a polyhistor. His knowledge, or rather his great curiosity, made him an expert in various fields such as logic, science and philosophy.

You really see that when you read the book The Nicomachean Ethics . It is the one where he talks about people as extreme social beings. He says we are like social animals and that is why friendships are the most satisfying way to live our lives together.

Due to the limitations of the time, the Greek sage did not have the opportunity to learn about the mysteries of the brain. However, modern science has proven that we need social interaction to be able to develop, survive and be healthy. We are definitely social beings. But our relationship will have to rest on solid foundations.

The three forms of friendship

We often regard philosophers as being a respectable but far-fetched source of wisdom. They are the voices of the day that you use to quote from on occasion to teach people something. But we do not think it has much to do with today’s life.

But nothing could be less true. With all the existential anxiety that people experience, this is the perfect time to rediscover the wisdom of antiquity.

The Nicomachean ethics  is a brilliant example of an ancient self-help book. It’s about how to be happy and how relationships fit into one’s everyday life. Aristotle believed that it was through friendship that one learned to give and receive.

But that does not mean he considered friendship as transactional. He also said: “It is not noble to expect to receive a service in return, because only a shameless person needs benefactors and friendship is above all freedom. It is the most virtuous way of being. ”

And this is where Aristotle’s notion of three types of friendship comes into play. Let’s take a look at them.

Friendship based on self-interest

It is well known that some people exploit others for their own gain. Some do it often and others could never figure it out. And then there is a small group of people who consider friendship that way – to get something out of it.

Of course, one always expects to get something out of it: support, trust, good times, etc. But there are people who will praise and flatter you in the hope of achieving other things: social status, recognition…

Friendship for pleasure

This is the type of friendship you are probably quite familiar with. This is the type that you often experience in your teens. But later, when you get more picky, more careful and filter them properly, then you will find that these friendships are like a double-edged sword.

But what is the difference between friendships based on self-interest and friendships for pleasure? In the first type, someone is trying to take advantage of your friendship (services, access to other people, recognition, etc.) In the second type of friendship, all they want is “ just to have fun. ”

They are people who live an empty, useless, hedonistic life, where their only purpose in being with other people is to have fun and relax. If you need help with a real problem or if things are not going so well, then your fake friends will disappear like dew to the sun.

The perfect friendship

The last of the forms of friendship that Aristotle mentions is the ideal. It’s the most solid – and most rare – but it’s still possible. It is a friendship that rises above usability and pleasure. Instead, in the perfect friendship, one will appreciate the other for who they are.

There is also generosity in this friendship as you are not trying to get anything out of it. All you want is to have a good time together, share your life and be one that the other can support yourself on.

It is based on kindness and Aristotle even said that it was almost like a romantic relationship. Because in the end, perfect friends, real friends, do not often appear in one’s life.

There are not many of them out there, but they are people who can be sincere with without you having to worry about them wanting to turn your back on you. They are the kind of people with whom you can share experiences, memories and promises. The kind of friendships that neither time nor distance can cause to fall apart.

It is quite likely that right now you have all of Aristotle’s three forms of friendship. People who want something from you. Friends who are only with you while having fun. And then the amazing people who are always just there.

Let’s celebrate the friends you would not trade for anything. Those that make the journey of your life feel easier and more interesting…