Santandreu: “Use Your Inner Dialogue To Be Happy “

Your inner dialogue can be your worst enemy. In this article, you can find out how to turn your life around, for the better, with the help of your inner dialogue.

In his latest book, It’s Not So Terrible , Rafael Santandreu offers a practical manual for personal transformation and self-therapy, through your inner dialogue. It is a very thorough and original work that will give you valuable strategies, based on cognitive psychology.

Santandreu stands out for his ability to make you understand where your own unhappiness comes from  and the way your thoughts create your reality.

Our interview with Rafael Santandreu about your inner dialogue

In our interview with Rafael Santandreu, we dive deeper into the importance of how to  interpret the things that happen to you,  even the worst of them.

As a psychologist and therapist, specializing in concise, strategic therapy, Rafael Santandreu invites you to ask yourself questions and look into yourself, to understand how to limit your human potential.

In his latest book, Santandreu shares interesting, philosophical approaches to show you how the foundations of joy and positive psychology are your own thoughts.

It’s Not So Terrible contains original and innovative lessons that can help you grow. They help to awaken your inner joy. It’s a journey worth taking.

Cognitive psychology: Based on modifying inner dialogues?

It is true. According to Epictetus; “We are not disturbed by what is happening to us, but by our thoughts about what is happening to us.” That means you are not sad because your boyfriend has left you. You are sad because you are thinking, “I am alone! I will never be happy! I need him / her! ”

In fact, most of these forms of adversity should not affect us that much. However, due to a very negative, inner dialogue, they lead to anxiety or depression.

Do the strongest and happiest people have a special, inner dialogue?

They have. They are not fatalists. Yes, they may be annoyed by life’s adversity, but they do not allow them to keep them from being happy.

One of my pillars of emotional strength was Stephen Hawking, the scientist in the wheelchair. Hawking could not move at all, due to his condition. He said his suffering was insignificant.

He thought that as long as he could still do valuable things for himself and for others, then he could have been happy. That is why he became one of the most important scientists in history, and also a very happy person.

Can we all learn to be that way?

I can assure you that if you introduce Hawking’s personal philosophy, your emotional state will change. You will not be affected by small things and you will have plenty of mental space to enjoy life. It’s all about your inner dialogue and your beliefs about life.

What beliefs does this new philosophy of life constitute?

One of the fundamental principles is to combat the belief that you need many things to be happy. In fact, we only need water and food every day.

Everything else is indispensable. For example, it does not matter to have a partner or a job to be happy. All you need to do to be happy is stop complaining  and appreciate what you already have.

Do we need to be healthy to feel good?

Not really. Health is the first thing we lose as we get older. I can assure you that you can still be happy, even with a chronic illness. Look at Stephen Hawking again, for example. Again, this is really about what you tell yourself.

After losing a loved one, many people become depressed. I can assure you that depression is a product of their inner dialogue under death. I mean death is good, even beautiful. Why? Because all natural things are good and necessary.

It is equally valid whether you live a long or a short life. The important thing is to have lived a great life. People get depressed when their loved one dies. However, the world is full of people you can love. There are your siblings. Love those as you love the important people in your life who are no longer here.

According to cognitive psychology, is there a “correct” way to deal with adversity?

Yes. For example, my books are a collection of philosophical principles that will convince you that you can be happy, no matter what. You will find many arguments that will make you say, “There is nothing that can make me unhappy!”

In fact, Epictetus, the philosopher you were talking about, was a slave

Precise. He was born a slave! His parents were slaves and he was sold after he was born. His master, Epaphroditus, took him to Rome. Despite all this, he was happy. He told himself, “As long as there are valuable things to do for me and others, I will be happy.”

Like Stephen Hawking. You see, the most important thing to be happy is your inner dialogue. If you control your inner dialogue, you will learn to be happy.

Is it a daily thing?

Yes. Cognitive psychology will ask you to repeat what you say to yourself, every day, every time something bad happens.

For example, if you are caught in traffic. Do not say to yourself: “This stinks! This should not happen! ” Instead, say this to yourself: “It does not matter if I am trapped here. I can do a lot of good things  while I wait. I can sing or even call my mother. ”

Do you have to check your inner dialogue after any problem, big or small?

Precise. The next time you are caught in traffic, you will be surprised to see how little it affects you. Another example is if someone says something unpleasant to you. Work on it so it will not affect you. “I do not need everyone to like me. It does not matter if someone insults me. That’s their problem, not mine. ”

How long does it take for the inner dialogue to begin to make us feel better?

During the first few months of working hard on it, you will start to see amazing results. After three months, you will feel 80% better. After a year or two, you might feel 100% better. You will have to work on it every day.

You will feel happier, you will dare to do so much more and you  will appreciate the good things in life.