Sometimes It’s Your Only Chance To Be Strong

Sometimes life is just hard. It is at that time when it is your only choice to be strong. You put on your armor and your sword, work intelligently, and draw on the energy you have stored in your heart. But sooner or later you can wear down.

When we read a classic, we know almost instantly when fate begins to take over. When we read Virgil, Shakespeare or Dickens, we wait for that moment. As experienced readers, we know how to anticipate when betrayal, traps, mistakes, or tragedies are released.

“Soft is stronger than hard, water stronger than stone, love stronger than power.”
–Herman Hesse–

But in our more ordinary , raw lives, we rarely expect the natural course of life to ever take revenge on us. As we move in a straight line toward our dreams, some of us expect fate to have another plan: to open a trap under our feet and whisper, ” Now you must wait, your dreams are in store.”

No one has ever explained to us what that thing called adversity is. In fact, it just turns out to be a teacher. For many of us, we were promised that whoever tries sincerely will be rewarded; that if you love others, they will not leave you; that if you have confidence, good things will come.

However, life often has a poorly calibrated compass, one that fails to point north. Instead, it points us to the longest and most difficult path… where it is your only option to be strong.

Being strong can put you at greater risk of becoming depressed

Self-help books and personal growth articles are obsessed with teaching us what the 10 or 12 or 100 characteristics of “strong” people are. There is the misconception that weakness, or vulnerability, inevitably leads to mental illness. According to this mindset, being “mentally strong” will help us heal – or completely avoid – anxiety disorders and depression.

However, it is not that simple. People who are used to being strong are actually most at risk of developing depression. Think, for example. on caregivers who care for their dependent relatives.

Think of a parent whose spouse is unemployed and has to bear the weight of family obligations. Think of people whose profession means spending their lives helping the marginalized, abused women, orphans.

It can be hard to be strong for the sake of other people. We want to be the best version of ourselves and give them the security, intimacy, hope and optimism they need. But we are not aware that we only “act” much of the time. We believe it though: it’s self-deception.

We deny our most genuine feelings inside us: fear, insecurity, anxiety, loneliness… Until we sooner or later collapse. “And we do not ask for help; we open up or worse, we get obsessed with putting other people first.

If this is your only chance to be strong, then accept your vulnerability

We all know that. The story of our lives includes challenges we have never asked for, tragedies and things that test our values. But while we may see ourselves as the hero because we can do anything and endure our complaints and tears, there is one mistake we constantly make: neglecting ourselves.

“There is room in the heart for all emotions, as there is room in the sky for all the stars.”
-Víctor Hugo-

If it’s your only chance to be strong, then accept your vulnerability, because vulnerability does not mean weakness. Rather, it is an awareness that sometimes we need to stop and just breathe . Being strong does not mean ignoring your anger or forgiveness so much that you lose your dignity. Being strong also does not mean imposing your own point of view on others and trying to control everything.

In fact, what makes us weak is hiding ourselves from the world. If we worry about keeping our beautiful exterior up, in order to maintain being strong, we will widen the gap between what we are and what we show.

Therefore, a secret behind resilience is to be genuine all the time. Because you can be strong, but at the same time you need to ask for help when you need it. Because it’s smart to unite forces with people.

1042.m3u8