To Trust Love When One Has Been Hurt Before
Love is not about faith, nor is it about religion. Love is an emotional experience that typically arrives unexpectedly.
No human being can be forced to love or stop loving on command, such as when the feeling is not reciprocated. And maybe it’s there, in the small sense of losing control, that the real problem arises.
Love often makes us more sensitive. Everything our partner does, says and does not say affects us much more intensely.
Therefore, both happiness and suffering are experienced much more strongly. For example , many people behave in an incomprehensible way after suffering an emotional defeat. They flee instead of going through the pain.
What hurts us is best avoided. Classic conditioning. But… is it the right way? Is it best not to fall in love again so as not to get hurt?
And furthermore… how can we ever trust love again?
When love hurts and disappoints
There is a consensus that love equals suffering. We believe that this feeling is purely irrational. Love and emotions do not go hand in hand with “thinking”.
But we have to make it clear that sometimes it is not enough just to love. Caring for someone is not the only mainstay of the relationship’s success.
We need to find, rationalize, and dominate the emotional frenzy as much as possible. There has to be a balance between passion and rationality. Otherwise we will lose ourselves.
Commitment, communication, care, respect, empathy and personal growth. These things should undoubtedly be the foundation on which a relationship is built.
But when one of these things fails, the foundation is broken. Then pain and disappointment arise.
We have all had our trust abused somewhere in the course of our lives. When we were kids, trusting others was our first reaction. But as we got older, experience taught us that humans are not perfect. They are fallible and can harm us. Both on purpose and without.
Sometimes we are very prone to pain. Besides that, we can hurt others too. This is something we must always keep in mind. Experts recommend one thing, above all else: the need to be realistic about love.
Do not be seduced by the idea that the relationship you have now will always be perfect. Remember that it is a long process where all the pieces have to fit. Sometimes negotiations must take place, and other times they must be surrendered or defended.
To maintain a relationship
It should be a daily thing that the maintenance of the relationship comes from both parties. It is about there being a pendulum movement between “I” and “we”.
If one is aware that some of these things are missing, then one should have a realistic view. Do not let the pain continue for longer than absolutely necessary.
To trust love again
Yes, that is possible. You may be thinking that it is best to avoid trusting someone again. Your previous relationships ended badly and you have already had enough bad experiences. You think that loneliness in everyday life is better than insecurity. Better than the fear of being hurt again.
If you believe in this, try to consider the following points objectively. We can try to think a little in other lanes…
To trust someone again, one must first trust oneself. Do you not have the right to be happy? Do you think that you do not deserve to have good times and share your daily life with someone else? The first step is to feel complete, satisfied and happy with oneself. “I like myself the way I am. I like the face I see every morning. I feel satisfied with the life I have now ”. All of these concepts are what give strength to our roots.
Good self-esteem and great self-confidence will always make us stronger in adversity and pain. If I know what I want, I immediately see signs in others that show that they are not good for me. As I know, can hurt me. “I love myself and I choose to be with someone who loves me. One that I can grow with while maintaining my balance. ”
Listen to your needs. Only you know where you are right now. Only you know your past and how you have been hurt. And we know that every wound requires a healing process. Therefore, it is important that we learn to listen to ourselves all the time and to know our needs.
Live life – love follows
It is important that we rediscover the love for ourselves and rebuild everything around us. Maybe we feel it is best to be alone a little. Enjoying time with friends and family… No hurry.
Slowly we begin to see the world around us with healed wounds, an open heart and a clear mind. Self-confidence will constantly grow steadily, and at some point, time will come to embrace the unknown.
To live is to take chances, while you are constantly aware that sometimes you will be disappointed. Maybe it’s all worth it… albeit just briefly. Perhaps the regret of not taking the chance will hurt us more.
Is it possible to love again? Of course it is, and it depends only on you.
