You Are A “bad Mother ” Because You Are A Real Mother

Many mothers are under tremendous pressure: they have so many duties and they have to handle them all to perfection. Among these duties we find the one who defines them as a  mother:  raising children. Unfortunately, many people, for several reasons, are branded as a “bad mother” when they are really just a real mother.

Some of these reasons may be that they are too harsh on their children or vice versa that they are pampering them too much. But: Mothers who are accused of these things are not always bad,  they are just genuine.

Being a mother is not easy. Despite all the information we have, which sometimes contradicts itself, mistakes happen. It is not just a possibility that mistakes can happen, but they  will  happen again and again, just like everything else.

“Mom shaming”: Criticism of a real mother

A phenomenon called “mom shaming” has unfortunately become popular in recent years. It’s a critique of the real mother. The mother who makes mistakes. This phenomenon has emerged via social media, where it is easy to criticize others.

An example is Chontel Duncan. A personal trainer who created great controversy on her Instagram profile. She had posted pictures of herself training while pregnant. Many people thought that it could be dangerous for the child that she had strong and visible abdominal muscles.

Likewise, singer Soraya has received plenty of criticism for being taken to dinner with her partner, six days after giving birth, and leaving her baby with another person. After the picture was shared on the Internet, critics emerged: “As a mother, I could never think of going anywhere without my child.” Or, “If you want to keep doing what you want, you should not have children.”

This kind of criticism is a reflection of a need some mothers have to be perfect or impose on others their perception of perfection. They condemn behavior that, in their opinion, is questionable. In addition, this critique also makes us reflect on the  mother figure that society promotes.

What is a real mother?

We all have our thoughts on  what it means to be a mother  or what it should mean. But aren’t you also a bad mother if you adapt to what the majority thinks, just to get rid of the criticism?

All this is only to annoy and ridicule women. It makes them insecure about themselves as mothers. Most mothers want the best for their children and raise them as best they can. When one is exposed to this criticism,  it is natural to begin to doubt oneself.

In this context, the criticism we refer to is like a slap in the face and forces you to abide by some very strict rules. For  there is no perfect mother. The best thing is to be a mom who does it as best she can.

Why am I a bad mother?

The above situations are just examples of what society says is “bad”. However, there are certain perceptions which may, may not, be true, but which have become very widespread. They are sources of confusion and criticism of mothers who are not of the same opinion. Let’s look at some of them:

• Giving birth by caesarean section, and not by natural birth, makes you an inferior mother.
• Not breastfeeding your baby shows that you do not have a maternal instinct.
• No real mother gets  postpartum depression.
• Why have you had children if you still leave them to another person because you have to work?
• You are a bad mother if you put your child in front of the television or tablet to relax or do other things.

• If you were a good mother, you would never lose patience with your child.

After each of the above statements, which most people will unfortunately nod in recognition of, it follows that a true mother must be a “bad mother”. A true mother can not be perfect. A true mother makes mistakes and loses patience, at times.

Mothers are also human beings

Mothers are not beings from another planet, though that can sometimes seem like it. These are ordinary people with normal lives. Some have to work to be able to live. They need to relax just like everyone else. The high expectations that society has for mothers  seem like an unbearable burden.

If at any time you have had to listen to this criticism, do not be upset. You are a human being. Many of the people who criticize you also lose patience or do not have time for their children. They let their frustrations go beyond you because you remind them of their own inability to be a perfect mother. There is only one role you should take: The real mother.