Are You And Your Partner Going To Make A Relationship Contract?

It is very romantic to talk about couples and their sweet words and romance. These are some of the most beautiful aspects of a relationship. But over time, those involved may begin to hold back on romance. If that happens, a relationship contract might help.

When couples face everyday routines, there are many expectations they must reconsider. Although love is still alive,  everyday life is filled with small obstacles they must learn to overcome. If they do not, problems can arise.

Living together strengthens the romantic bond, but at the same time it can create situations that can hurt it. In short, both partners have different backgrounds, different habits and different personalities. Therefore, customization is not always easy.

As the days, weeks, and years go by, so does love. As a result, there are times when it seems like it is no longer alive. In addition, crises can arise, and questions about whether it is really worth continuing.

Relationships are always built on an implicit contract. But is it a good idea to make an explicit relationship contract? A contract that prevents the bond from being broken in the face of these crises?

A relationship contract and implicit agreements in a relationship

Every couple needs appointments to be able to live in peace and quiet. Often they come spontaneously and not in any particular order. When different situations arise, the couple makes partial agreements and each party decides whether they want to follow them or not.

Most agreements are implicit. However, they are not always reasonable. Many times, one person succumbs to the demands of another. They do this specifically because they do not bother to start a discussion, or because they see it as hopeless. However, this does not mean that they are happy with the situation.

Living together can create friction. However, these frictions can become critical if one partner refuses to live up to his role. Not only by the small actions as everyday duties, but also in deeper aspects. It can be, for example, fidelity, attention and thoughtfulness towards the partner, as well as being emotionally present.

In many areas, they are also broken implicitly. Discussions arise as to whether the agreement existed or that one person did not understand the agreement. Couples should not just base their relationship contract on implicit agreements.

Explicit agreements

Some couples have decided to change these implicit agreements and write them down in a relationship contract. The things they write down are much more than agreeing on who should go for a walk with the dog or who should clean the bathroom on the weekends.

They cover deeper topics. This could be, for example, what sanctions should apply in cases of infidelity, or what should happen in the event of emotional absence.

The New York Times  recently released a statement from a couple who have made a guide. This guide was a relationship contract that contained a set of rules that were to guide them. It talked about everything from assignments and time to money-related topics.

Likewise, they also made rules for illness, and even how to talk about sensitive things. The couple said that this guide has given amazing results.

Would it be worth the effort for all couples to sign a contract that reflects their own approach? Or is it a way to reduce spontaneity instead of a realistic way of dealing with the fact that love also includes decisions and will?

The discredited middle ground

For some people, these types of rules in a relationship may be a completely sustainable alternative. For others, however, such an agreement may be difficult to accept. But it can no doubt work.

It is certainly significantly easier to live with another human being when the rules of the game are made clear to everyone. It can eliminate unnecessary conflicts and lay the groundwork for a more civilized way of dealing with responsibilities and duties. That way, a relationship contract that a couple can agree on can help make the relationship flow and make it much easier to live together.

Despite this, there are more things at stake in relationships than agreements. Many unconscious emotions and expectations also come into play. After all, the love between two people can never be reduced to simple rules.