To Be Envious: When The Joy Of Others Bothers You

All people are susceptible to this because being jealous is part of being a human being.

When there is someone we love, then we should be happy on their behalf when things are going well for them and cry when they are sad. That’s how it should be. But in reality, it does not always happen that way. We want to be happy on behalf of others, but sometimes we end up having the exact opposite.

As a rule, we are not able to admit it. We just congratulate others while shivering inside. Or we might even try to downplay their results with a “Men…” or “Be careful, it may not be what you think.”

Deep down, we know very well that their success frustrates us for some reason. Why is this happening? And how can you avoid being jealous?

When other people’s joy bothers us

It does not always bother us when others are happy. Sometimes, we might feel really proud of their success. It is a wonderful feeling that fills us with joy and strengthens our relationship with them. Therefore, you may be asking yourself why you feel envious in other situations.

First, we need to make this clear: We are all human and can feel any emotion, whether good or bad. Therefore, even though it is nothing to be proud of, we should not punish ourselves for feeling envious of the success of our loved one.

It bothers us that the other person is happy because we are not happy. Maybe we worked hard to achieve the same thing, but the other person has reached their goal and we did not reach ours. We appreciate them, but it is impossible not to think of our unfulfilled desires desires.

Without us wanting it, we compare their joy with our sadness and we decide that it is unfair.

Other people are not a reflection of who you are

All of this happens when we see the other person as a reflection of ourselves. In other words, we perceive their lives as if it were our lives.

As a rule, being jealous means that we ignore their success and focus only on the results they got because we wanted them for ourselves.

The key is to broaden that perspective. Not only look at what that person has achieved, but analyze everything they went through to achieve it and all the things that they have not achieved yet. It is a way of humanizing the situation and finding the elements that make us different from them.

When we see others as mirrors, we build a narcissistic image of them inside our heads. This is why our egos get hurt and their joy bothers us. Instead, if we decide that our story is completely different from theirs, then we will be able to understand their results. And that is where we can feel real joy for them.

Being jealous is an opportunity for personal growth

Being jealous of someone you love is perfectly normal. It does not make you a bad person. What you should definitely avoid is letting that feeling grow into anger. It can end up damaging the bond that you have with someone you might be able to learn a lot from.

It’s time to grow. There are things that we desire deeply but never get. There are things we want and that we only achieve after we have worked really hard. And, of course, we get some things easier than we thought. That’s exactly what happens to other people. The difference is that it might happen to them faster or more often than it happens to us.

Do not judge yourself by the successes of others. That’s a big mistake. Each person’s personal development is completely independent of any other person’s.

You can stop being jealous if you identify the feeling and accept it. Kindly accept that other people deserve their success and that your love for those you love should go beyond these small and insignificant thoughts.