Those Who Do Not Want To Lose You, But Who Do Not Know How To Take Care Of You

There are some people who do not think about taking care of you who do not have you in mind and yet they build a high wall around you so they are sure not to lose you. These are relationships that are built on an ego that is dependent on the other person who demands and distorts something as amazing as love, and which only promotes itself and which does not stop your tears.

The fear that comes when our loved one is away from us is most of all a lack of self-confidence, and sometimes it is also a dangerous sign that you have a notion that your partner is your personal property. Every relationship that is based on some form of fear will inevitably create suffering.  

Some people do not know how to take care of you; they do not intuitively notice your sorrows or feel all your disappointments; but remember: if they are not thinking of you, now remember to think of yourself. Listen to your heart and take care of yourself.

It may sound strange, but there are many couples who hold on to this kind of relationship for a long time. We encourage you to find out the cause and what you can do appropriately in the situation. Always protect your self-esteem.

The co-dependent form of control and the fellow human being

In an interesting article published in the magazine, ” World of Psychology “, two types of personalities were defined. They show, in an amazing way, this kind of unequal relationship, which lasts for a long time and where there is one who controls and the other allows it. The basic characteristics are as follows:

• A person who exercises co-dependent control experiences the attachment to the other person as a form of addiction. Underneath the need to dominate is a lack of self-confidence, so therefore they make strategies and defense mechanisms so that they can “invalidate” the other person and get them under their net.

• The anxiety that people who exercise co-dependence have is so high that they set everything aside so that a single “micro-world” can exist. This tacky world is filled with mistrust, accusations and negative emotions.
• The word “compassionate” has its roots in the Latin language “cum-passio” (with suffering). The fellow human being is well aware of this dependence that the person has on their partner and the need that is to have to control, for fear of losing the other.
• But nonetheless, they can not help but continue to love them, take care of them and put the other first. It is a complex relationship that continues in a vicious circle.

Above all, take care of yourself

Both the need for control and the dependence on the other person are two very disabling elements that provide imbalance in the relationship. It is clear and we all know that love relationships are complex. But in reality we should say that complexity lies in the people themselves, and not in the relationship as such.

There are people who need control because that is the only way they can understand love. Nevertheless, there are others who truly love but who lack the emotional skills to show adequate reciprocity. But it is important that in all our relationships we prioritize “profits” instead of “requirements”. If so, it would be a good idea to put the following strategies into practice.

Love of self is a relationship that should last forever

It is important that you never forget to take care of yourself; to take care of your needs. Interestingly, a study published by The Journal of Personality and Social Psychology shows that young people have a lower self-esteem than those over 60.

Good self-esteem, self-awareness and good emotional handling will remind you that those who do not think of you, those who do not care, do not deserve your attention nor your tears. So do not hesitate to take your joy somewhere else.

It seems that time puts each piece in its proper place as if experience shapes us and makes us mature. With more security and a better balance. But it is important to enjoy every single section of our lives. And find your self-confidence so you can strengthen your self-confidence.

Say yes to a conscious emotional relationship

Relationships that work and that make us happy are emotionally mature and conscious. There is no need to control because there are no deep-seated fears, worries, uncertainties or needs to transgress the personal boundary of a loved one.

Conscious and mature people share all the good. They do not bring shadows of their selfishness into the relationship or a void that others must fill. Mature relationships nurture each other and give everyone in the relationship space for their own minds to grow and feel free and be part of a common project at the same time.

In conclusion, the feeling that someone is demanding something from us, controlling us and not caring about us can extend beyond the romantic relationship. Family or friends can certainly also show the same behavior.

Do something, defend your territory, take care of your rights, listen to the voice of your heart, which desires respect.  It is fundamental to take care of oneself. You need to take care of yourself and your self-esteem. Because there is no one who is selfish because they take care of themselves.