The Four Principles Of Attraction According To HT Reis

According to psychologist and professor HT Reis, many studies as well as literature make it possible to establish four principles of attraction among people. These principles are equality, closeness, reciprocity and stress.

The definition of these four principles of attraction is based on a study that focuses on interpersonal relationships.

Each of these attraction principles speaks of a crucial factor when it comes to identifying another individual as attractive or unattractive. Everyone shows that the mind of the person placing this sticker has a greater influence on this process than the actual characteristics of the other person.

The four principles of attraction

1. The principle of equality

This principle indicates that people tend to be attracted to those who look like themselves. These contradict the so popular idea that opposites are attracted to each other. There are many who believe in it. But in reality, people seem to like others who share the same interests, concerns or motivations.

This principle is based on the work of Donn-Byrne. He formulated the so-called law of attraction in 1971. This law argues that the greater the number of similar characteristics, the greater the attraction between two people.

Equality is one of the principles of attraction for three reasons: 

• Those who are like us are better able to acknowledge what we are and think, which gives us satisfaction.
• Similarities confirm our interests and tastes. The more people we see who share our fascinations, the more we think they are valid.
• Equality facilitates the process of sharing our environment with others without conflict or sacrifice. If one likes to go to the theater and the other likes to go for long walks, they will both end up performing each activity separately or sacrificing themselves by participating in activities they do not enjoy, to please the other . However, if they have similar interests, this sacrifice will not exist and the individuals will spend more quality time together.

 Proximity

The principle of closeness establishes that we are more likely to build a friendship or romantic relationship with people we are close to. When we share the same environment (real or virtual), it not only facilitates the opportunities for interaction, but also tends to increase mutual sympathy between people.

In one experiment, researchers presented images of strangers to a group of volunteers. Then they repeated this step twice. The first time, they showed pictures of strangers. The second time, they presented some pictures they had already shown in the first round. At the end of the experiment, the volunteers said that the strangers they saw twice seemed cuter than the rest.

However, if the contact is extremely continuous or too long, the attraction may become unfavorable. The same thing happens when there is an initial feeling of hatred, but the closeness is maintained despite this.

3. The principle of reciprocity

One of the other principles of attraction is reciprocity. This indicates that we tend to be more attracted to those who we perceive approve of us. In other words, we are more sympathetic to those who we feel are sympathetic to us.

This is because when we feel accepted and approved by others, it gives a greater sense of security, self-confidence and satisfaction. It fills us with positive thoughts about ourselves when we are accepted by others. That is why we are attracted to the root of such emotions.

HT Reis argued that the principle of reciprocity has a greater influence than the principle of equality. In short, we are attracted to people who accept us and treat us well, even if we do not have similar interests.

4. The principle of stress and anxiety is among the four principles of attraction

This is the most paradoxical principle of attraction. According to the principle , people tend to feel more attracted to us when we are in situations that produce anxiety and stress.

For example, if a shark suddenly shows up while we are sailing at sea, the ship’s captain might find us attractive. If we parachute with someone else, we may end up liking that person more than before.

This explains why we seek more social contact in situations where we feel intimidated or threatened. Other people’s company makes us feel safe. As a result, we end up establishing a positive bond with them.

Finally, there is something we need to keep in mind. All of these principles speak of attraction, but not of care or love. This means that these factors affect a kind of incipient harmony with other people, but they do not determine the quality or depth of the relationship.