Looking Up To See The Other Person’s Reaction Is Not A Good Idea
This happens often. There are people who dare to end a relationship, not because they want it to end, but because they hope that this action will make the other party react. What they are hoping for is that the person, when faced with a loss, will decide to finally respond to their emotional needs, which until then has been ignored. It is an extreme solution that may seem short-sighted. But it may also have major consequences in the long run.
Manipulation and emotional blackmail are not the best way to deal with relationship problems. Quite the opposite: they end up being terrible alternatives because in the end, they do not provide a solution to a conflict, but instead they cover it up, postpone it, and make it mostly worse.
The ultimate goal of breaking up with our partner in order for them to respond is nothing more than controlling that person. In this way, it is a manipulative behavior and emotional blackmail. The other person is “pushed up into a corner,” and they are left with no options. In this way, they are discouraged and left under our control.
This is a bad solution. And the worst part is that it is not only used when there is some awareness that the other person is feeling love. Because you know they love you, you put them in an extreme situation so that they will respond exactly as you want them to: by giving in to your control. In other words , you put your needs on their shoulders. You leave the other person without the ability to react.
The threat of losing you is simply to entice. If the other person bites the hook, what comes out of it is a kind of relationship in which manipulation is the master. Moving on, even if you do not like it, tells us that it is not okay to “play with the other person’s feelings.” It is no longer spontaneity, but instead consideration that determines the step one takes. It is no longer fervor but tactics that define the bond between you.
In the worst cases, what happens is that a misjudgment emerges. You break up with someone so that they will respond by asking you not to do it and promising to do what you want. But sometimes things do not work out the way you want them to and the complete opposite happens. The other person reconsiders their value and decides to end the relationship so that they are not sacrificed for manipulation. Then the dangerous game can turn against you and you are the one to take it back. You go for wool and you are the one who gets cut.
Learn to value your words and actions
Many of the people who use this kind of tactic remove not only other people’s value but also their own. Soon others will learn that what they say or do has relative value. They are not a reflection of what the person is really thinking or feeling. But they may just be the manifestation of a psychological game being played out. So the price of that manipulation and extortion is not being able to have a relationship of trust and genuine intimacy.
Sometimes it also happens that a relationship ends early or for no underlying reason. One person ends it to make the other respond. And the other, who will not be manipulated, accepts the final price so as not to lose their independence. None of the partners get anything out of this.
Basing a relationship on a logical power is never a good idea. You will definitely gain some benefits, but you will lose a lot more. You create a relationship that loses its value. You do it “cheaply” and without realizing it, you make it stop being a bond that enriches your life.
So the relationship becomes an element that creates anxiety and pain. It is something that is demanding instead of enriching. When that type of manipulation and extortion happens, the roles will sooner or later change, and a series of events begin in which the two behave more like rivals or enemies than like a couple.
The way to resolve conflicts
Conflicts in a relationship hurt and create fear, especially when they are serious. But the only way to solve them is by looking them in the eye. Then you can look for a healthy way to deal with them. Communication is always a great opportunity. Speaking to them from the most authentic part of your heart brings understanding.
Without the ability to do this, the relationship has no chance to grow. In this case, it’s worth it to look up. It should be done with no intention other than to improve the lives of both parties.
