Three Things You Should Not Break: Trust, Promises And Hearts
There are three things you should not break: trust, promises and hearts. If you think about it, there are few things in life that are just as valuable. They are the key to growth. They make us feel like we are part of something, part of other people. If they crumble, we have nothing left to stand on.
Social psychologists and sociologists often say that today many relate to others with a “risk-reducing model”. This means that some people avoid going too deep into their personal and emotional relationships, so as not to be hurt, disappointed or frustrated – or have their heart broken.
The emotional energy that we save by holding on to our emotions just sets the stage for bad attachment. The result? Sporadic relationships that come and go and do not go beyond the superficial. In other words, we limit the risk of being injured; we settle for harmless relationships instead of happiness. But do we really want to live in the icy entrance? Is it worth not allowing something authentic to sprout and take root?
Trust is costly
We cannot ignore the fact that our genetic “programming” is to trust others. It is something we need and we need it with all our strength. In a way, our survival has always depended on the people who make up our closest social group.
No one wins if they live in constant distrust of others. They only gain by using resources, energy and intentions, being emotionally brave and open, having a positive attitude and being aware that there are three things you should not break: trust, promises and hearts.
Three things you should not break
Repairing lost trust is one of the most complex, delicate and challenging things anyone can ever do. As a child, you may have learned that there are things you should not break. Maybe because they cost money, because they are old and irreplaceable or simply because the broken things can no longer be used.
But rarely do we learn that there are other things that are more often broken, despite the fact that we could not see or touch them. In fact, certain invisible things can be broken in the same way as the bones in our bodies and for some reason these things take much longer to heal. We talk about trust, promises, respect and love.
Sometimes a child’s eyes learn early on to neglect these valuable gifts because their parents did too. To feed children with broken promises leaves a wound. To grow up without having any real trust in your own parents leaves a permanent scar. These things often shape our behavior and how we relate to others.
The human heart
Right now, there are many aspects of the brain that we still do not understand. One of them is how people’s reactions to trauma vary. Some people develop a state of permanent helplessness, a kind of chronic stress in which strong and happy relationships are unlikely. Others, however, gain an attitude toward life that gives them emotional strength.
Some used to float away with their broken pieces, but now, even though they are broken, they know that only those who bravely trust themselves are worthy of being trusted. Some never forget their promises. They hold them, get hell or high tide because they know very well how hurtful fraud does and that promises are one of the things you should not break.
These resilient, radiant people also understand how precious a heart is. But they do not forget how fragile it is at times. How timid it is when love falters, when it is fed with lies and doubt, manipulation and camouflaged betrayals.
He who speaks the language of trust … who understands the meaning of the promises… and who knows how to listen to the hearts of others without harming them… these people give and deserve to receive. They are worthy of the same rights and gifts. They make our world a more respectful and happier place.
