Pain Function After Experiencing A Loss

Life consists of loss. When we win something, we must always give something in return, such as. time. There are losses that relieve us. There are those we do not care about and those we wish we did not have to face. It could be someone we have lost, but it could also be an object, an opportunity, or a dream. When it comes to this last type of loss, it is necessary to feel pain, especially when it cuts a deep wound into your skin. But what is the function of pain after such a loss?

Pain can be understood as an expression of grief that can cause others to approach us and give us a bit of warmth that can somehow make up for the cold that has taken hold of the newly created void. It is meant to be received with empathy, few words and a lot of understanding.

Function of pain: it does not always create empathy in others

Unfortunately, pain can complicate life in many ways. First of all, you may not get the social support. Most of us understand that people suffer when they lose a loved one as it is an experience that we all unfortunately go through sooner or later. But some people may not understand grief over other types of loss. For example, many people have never owned or loved a pet, and they do not understand the pain that comes from losing one.

Other losses that can be difficult to understand are opportunities or dreams. They are important to you individually and you often work with them yourself so they contain a lot of hope for you that is hard to express because you can not compare it to anything else. You can tell someone that you feel sorry for them, because all the work you’ve been doing for years has just faded away, but it’s going to be very difficult for them to understand if they have not put that effort into. you or seen your face on the hard days. It’s hard to explain all that.

Therefore, the first problem that causes pain is a lack of validation from other people.

The three functions of pain

The function of pain is, first of all, to acknowledge that a loss has occurred. In fact, denial is the exact opposite of pain. It is to live as if the person, dream, hope, object or animal was still in your life. People who deny loss oppose pain onset.

When rejection occurs in the first moments after the loss, it is an adaptive strategy because it delays the impact of the loss, while the brain can begin to process the information, even if it is not conscious. But it is not so adaptive when the rejection is prolonged because the person cannot treat the pain.

The function of pain is also to acknowledge that the thing that has been lost and was so important existed. Pain serves to clear the memory of what was lost in a way. In this way, denial can give rise to guilt, because while the person is trying to protect themselves, they feel as if they are betraying the memory of what they lost by not acknowledging their feelings and acting in accordance with them or acknowledging the meaning of it. , they have lost. They then accumulate more negative emotions and even sometimes anger and contempt for themselves.

Pain acts as a form of recognition and tribute.

Finally , pain allows the story to be completed. It gives you space to write the last few sentences and then start a new chapter. It also attracts the attention of others in many cases, even if you do not talk about it. This promotes empathy, active listening and togetherness. This can balance the possible feeling of abandonment with the comfort that others provide.

Pain is recognition

In that way, pain is an intimate act of acknowledging and loving the person who has passed away. It’s a letter written in the air that concludes and expresses gratitude for the time you shared with them, signed with the simple words “I will always miss you.”